It occurs to me that problem is me.
I look around and no one else seems to be bothered. It stands to reason that the problem is me.
Maybe I try too hard. Maybe my goals are unrealistic. Maybe my perception of myself is not in line with reality.
I shouldn’t be working this hard. I should put in these hours. I already know that, due to budget constraints, there will be no raise this year. Again. Couple that with the fact that I can’t even get recognized for my efforts. Not even a fucking atta boy.
Getting a new job? Well that’s not working either.
I think I need new goals.
Perhaps I should just work “johnny punchclock” hours and smoke a lot of pot. Potheads seem generally relaxed. Sure it would prevent me from getting a new job in all likelihood, but the current job has no drug testing policies. Hell, I should probably come to work high. That would have to make things go smoother.
I wouldn’t be as productive… but who cares. It’s not like its going to cost me a raise or something. I mean what exactly am I doing all this for? Because it’s the right thing to do? I’m not sure that it really is.
Maybe that plan has some flaws, but something has to give. If I keep going like this… I’m not going to be worth anything to anyone.
3 Comments
Hey there fella, I know you can’t do this but I really started stop thinking about it. I will do the best I can and shit will work out.
I wish I had something insightful to say about this post. I’m so burnt out on what I’m doing and with the consequences of doing that I can hardly begin to describe it. Lots of work, little reward, and no appreciation.
I miss you.
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